Security Cadet

Security

Security Cadet

Access: Brig, Maintenance, Security, Service

Difficulty: The least easy "beginner" role

Duties: Learn to serve, protect, and baton

Supervisors: Head of Security, Security Officer, Warden (to some extent)

Subordinates: None

Guides: You're lookin' at it

Space Law

Learn how to beat people to within an inch of their life without going overboard serve your fellow man!

Starting Out

Security Cadet might be your first real job on the station after spending a few rounds as a passenger, or maybe you made the enormous mistake of trying this out as your first role. To be clear, this is not a role for absolute beginners. If you are unprepared for the hardship that comes with this job, I. E. if you do not know what the hell you're doing, do not take it on. Try out the Medical Intern or Technical Assistant training roles first, get a feel for what's normal and what's not, then come back.

The Art of Listening

The most important thing to do when you are starting out as a security officer is to listen to what your commanding officer, the crew, the passengers, and even the clowns are saying to you. If you fly off the handle when confronted with a slightly irritating situation, you will immediately be labeled as "shitsec," and the people will be right to rise against you. The greatest tool in your tool-belt is not the baton, it's your ears. When you listen, you will know how to defuse a situation. When you listen, you will come to understand who is lying and who is telling the truth. Some people are bad at speaking, give them the benefit of the doubt and ask follow up questions. Be a good listener.

Negotiations Have Broken Down

Sometimes, there's nothing you can do. The security officers before you were bad at listening, bad at communicating, but very good at showing crew members the business end of their batons. Now, they have it out for you. You are going to need to know how to defend yourself. See the Security Officer guide for details on the tools at your disposal.

Authority

As a Security Cadet, you have a lot of pressure put on you to perform well. Do not allow this to get to you. You are expected to call in more experienced people to deal with situations that you are unsure of. If you take the law into your own hands too quickly, there can be consequences under Space Law. Familiarize yourself with this as well as you can, but know there's room for goofing up. Don't allow your authority to get to your head and take things too far, but also don't allow clown murder to become the norm. No one likes clown murder.

Tips

• Trust goes in this order:

1. Command Staff
2. Security Staff (except Lawyers)
3. Lawyers
4. Crew
5. Passengers
6. Clowns
7. Mimes

• Find a more experienced officer to pair up with

• Listen to your radio and the people around you

• Police brutality is funny, but the last resort

• Get good at communicating with others

• ALWAYS listen to Head of Security. What they say goes

The Rules of Shitcurity

Disclaimer: This is not something to emulate or regard with pride. Whenever Security is doing something that in real life would get them fired, charged, imprisoned, sued, and/or charged as war criminals under the Geneva convention, they're being Shitcurity. If you are shitcurity, expect people to try to robust you and deadchat to be whiny. Don't be surprised if you get job banned and/or banned from the server for this.

Also expect people to accuse you of being this even if you're doing an alright job. There is no way to win.

Lots of times shitcurity officers may not be breaking rules. What makes most people shitcurity is a lack of understanding that certain actions can end/ruin a person's entire round. Be nice! Instead of cremating a traitor, permabrig or borg them!

The ancient laws of your tribe, passed from Sec to Sec. Heed them well, and you will be remembered in the annals of history.

1. Everybody is guilty even when proven innocent.
2. Always arrest the corpse of a fallen foe, so that he may be pacified in death.
3. Never wash the stains of your enemies from your ancestral stun-club. They show the crew your trustworthiness and dedication.
4. When in doubt, whoever you may be dealing with is a traitor. Execute him.
5. If your weapon has a kill setting, use it. Only in death is a criminal truly stopped.
6. The clown is like a punching bag. He is meant to to be beaten without reason.
7. Context means nothing. An assistant breaking into EVA is treasonous scum, even if he is doing so to kill the
8. Only through death is justice served.
9. Whenever you are detaining a prisoner in the brig, lock them in one of the lockers and weld it shut.
10. The security cameras are not to be used, except to watch ERPers.
11. Chemical implants must be filled with acid and activated once the prisoner on "parole" leaves the brig!
12. Forensic evidence is unnecessary. After all, no one is innocent.
13. Radio chatter is for the weak. A true officer can sense crime through instinct and inaction.
14. It doesn't matter if a cell is exposed to space, the scum still have to serve time in it!
15. If a cyborg refuses to beat a criminal to death then it should be destroyed for breaking its laws.
16. If a cyborg does beat a criminal to death then it should be destroyed for denying you the pleasure.
17. If someone has access to any areas you do not have, they stole that ID! You must liberate it for your own quest of justice.
18. The Captain's and Head of Security's rules are only guidelines, you are the only true judge of crime.
19. All criminal scum are to be handcuffed to their beds, they must not escape under any circumstance.
20. Always bolt and weld the escape arm airlocks shut. This will stop any criminal scum from escaping the station.
21. If you find an engineer with insulated gloves, stun and cuff them. WHERE DID THEY STEAL THESE FROM!?
22. The best way to resolve a fight is to stun one side and let the other murder them. Cuff and brig the winner.
23. The practice range & practice rifle are for novices. *Real* law enforcers use the clown as a victim volunteer.
24. Clowns and mimes are abominations, they are to be humanely euthanized stunned, welded into lockers and spaced at all costs.
25. If all else fails and crime runs rampant, unleash the singularity to purge the station of criminals.
26. Do not lead your target when shooting, fire at anyone in your way-- then arrest everyone hit for obstruction of justice!
27. It is a strong sign of partnership with your tribesmen if you take an electrode meant for a suspect.
28. Crime never eats, so have their lunch 'til you get fat.
29. Strip prisoners and never give them back their belongings, especially if their sentence is less than two minutes.
30. The Captain is a treacherous and selfish scum of lower rank than you and head of shitcurity. Detain or execute him whenever you find evidence. If he tries to arrest you or your Boss, throw him into space naked.
31. Kill all non-humans and complain when people lynch you for "racism" and "being an awful person"
32. Time spent dragging a criminal to prison is better spent beating them to death.
33. Due to their infinite nature, handcuffs are to never be recycled.
34. Be proactive- arrest criminals before they commit a crime.
35. Portable flashers are to be set in public hallways, preferably in front of the HoP line, and moved to the escape wing when the shuttle is called. That is where criminals thrive and loiter.
36. Standing in one spot for more than a minute is means for a brigging. Idle time leads to treacherous activity.
37. The Brig is the holy land of all officers. If he is not of your kin, Then he is meant for the cells.
38. If the HoS acts like a weak and tolerant sissy, then he isn't your Boss, but rather treacherous and vile scum. Execute him and promote yourself.
39. Never hold trials for these criminal scum, they lost that right when they committed a crime.
40. If the janitor attempts to clean the blood of your conquests, arrest and execute him. Blood trails are a deterrent to crime.
41. If a prisoner commits suicide, leave him in his cell where he can rest in pieces and serve as a warning to other criminal scum.
42. "Proper" justice is too slow, ALWAYS take matters into your own hands.
43. If Captain tries using his "chain of command" on you, space him! YOU are the law!
44. The station is a battlefield. Riot suits and shields have superior armor and are intimidating. Acquire them, hoard them, and lord them over your foes.
45. Anyone who tries to demote you is committing obstruction of justice. Arrest the offender and demote him yourself to fight against corruption.
46. Anyone accused of being a traitor by a crew member must be executed on the spot. Do not give them a chance to weasel their way out of justice by talking things out. It's the only way that you can be sure the traitorous criminal scum are all stopped.
47. The shuttle brig is the safest place on the emergency shuttle. Arrest and detain as many people as possible indiscriminately in the shuttle brig just in case one of them happens to be a traitor.
48. A HoP that denies your all-access request is to be watched with extreme suspicion. Brig and search him as soon as possible.
49. Theft, pornography reading, trespassing, and not liking you are all signs of revolutionary activity. Beat their skulls in until they remember their true allegiance.
50. Any massacres, ethnic cleansings, purgings, underground permabrig prisoner fights, or general mass-murder orchestrated by superiors is to be immediately sanctioned and, if necessary, unquestioningly enforced. The law doesn't need to follow the law, especially if it gets to stroke its willy atop a mountain of corpses.
51. Any incarnations, imposters, or victims of identity theft (regardless of condition) of a lawbreaker are to be arrested as well, because they have the same name when you put your mouse over them.
52. When engaged in a firefight with hostiles, you are to position yourself at the nearest choke-point and empty your gun at the enemy as quickly as possible.
53. When the power goes out, stun, cuff, and perma anyone who is standing within ten meters of the Bridge. For all you know they could have been planning to break in!
54. All chemists are to be stunned, beaten into critical, and searched. They are all treacherous scum and are to be dealt with accordingly.
55. Empty the costume vendor. No one shall hide from The Law!
56. Seismic charges are to be confiscated from Salvage Technicians on sight. There is *no* excuse for Supply to have them, and they are better served activating and dropping down disposals to deny the scum an escape route during their next crime spree.
57. Heads of Staff should be mindshield implanted forcibly and immediately if you hear of revolution. Even our own leaders might be revolutionary scum.
58. If the Captain dies, it's your turn to be the LAW this station so desperately needs. Fuck the Chain of Command!
59. Space the Clown and Mime's PDAs & Garb. Viruses and pranks are against the law!
60. Criminals in the gulag must be kept on Wanted status at all times. Nothing discourages crime like being chased down by the iron fist of law forever.
61. If you murder someone in the permabrig, it doesn't really count as murder.
62. Immediately permabrig anyone found with the body of a suicide. Clearly it was actually a murder most foul!
63. Remember: The gods are watching your every move. Don't act until it's too late. Better safe than banned.
64. Standard security gear isn't robust. Always make sure to bug the warden/HoS for riot gear and a shotgun.
65. If they have a flash, they're a dirty revolutionary. It doesn't matter if they are a roboticist, or even a head!
66. If they are gibbering, they are retarded and everyone knows retards can't feel pain!
67. Before the round starts, figure out whether you like the SS or the KGB the best.
68. Break into the warden's office and make the best criminal stopping gun you can. If the warden objects, he a is a syndicate plant and you must use your new found power against him! When he is dead, relieve him of his gloves.
69. Use contraband you found against criminals.
70. If there is insufficient crime on the station, provide the crew with weapons. Then they will create crime for you to neutralize.
71. If the crew doesn't commit crimes with the guns you gave them arrest them for possession of a weapon as that is a crime.
72. If a crewmember turns in a piece of evidence to security, arrest them for possession of contraband.
73. The captain is to be arrested as soon as possible and his id taken for possession of a gun
74. Even if the original charges don't stick, you can still book them for sparking a manhunt no matter how minor the crime. No crime is too small for a manhunt!
75. If a disaster occurs because the person who is supposed to stop it was arrested in the middle of fixing it, brig them longer for dereliction of duty.
76. Justice does not have to be polite, so feel free to be an asshole. If anyone describes you as such for doing so, arrest and permabrig them for insulting an officer.